Grief…Feeling Your Way Through

Grief is a journey.

You have been given a ticket for the jouney – –

a ticket which you didn’t ask for,

didn’t deserve,

didn’t want.

But the ticket has your name on it, and

you must take the journey

regardless.

You may fear what’s ahead.

You already know the loneliness

and the darkness.

Expect the ride to be full of ups and downs,

like a roller coaster.

Know that after each down comes an up.

The pits will become less deep

and

less dark

with time.

Understand that you must journey through your grief.

Be with your pain.

You cannot go around it

or over it

or under it.

Let it wash through

your whole being.

It will pass, and move you towards your healing.

All things pass.

Nothing is permanent:

nothing lasts.

This Life doesn’t last.

(That is why you are grieving!)

Pain does not last either.

The journey through the pain

leads to a place

of peace

and understanding.

Always remember:

This journey

won’t last forever.

Be patient.

Allow youself time.

Insist on it

when others try to push you!

You need

Scope,

Mercy

and Understanding…

from yourself

as well as others.

These are your right.

Your grief is special to you.

No one can feel it just as you do,

but there are others

who have known similar pain,

fear,

and emptiness.

You may know someone with

this level of understanding.

Accept comfort and support

from them.

You may feel angry…

even furious!

outraged!

This is normal and healthy.

Talk about your anger.

Express it

in non-hurtful ways:–

kick a ball;

punch a mattress or pillow.

Find a place where you can

scream

without upsetting others.

(Have you ever stood near a railway track

and screamed as the train

was passing?)

You may feel regret.

This is a natural response

to any loss.

It is human to be imperfect.

No human being is perfect…

not even you or me!

You may feel very, very sad.

Life may seem to have

lost all meaning.

These feelings are temporary,

too, and will pass.

Give to yourself.

Give yourself mercy.

You are fragile just now.

Treat yourself with tenderness.

Other feelings you have

may surprise or frighten you.

Nothing seems as it was.

Sometimes it helps to talk

about these feelings

to the person whose loss

you mourn.

Speak to that person

in whatever way feels

comfortable to you:–

silently,

aloud,

or through written word

or picture.

The person you thought you were may seem changed…

erratic, forgetful,

helpless, dull or

out of control…

changed in many ways.

All these are normal signs

of your grief process.

You will move through them

as you journey through your grief.

You will never be

quite

the same again.

However…

The journey will not last forever.

You will emerge in a way that will be right for you.

By Pat Smekal